The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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