if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fill condoms, not promises.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
