Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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