Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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