I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
