is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
