how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
