we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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