can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
