We're facebook friends in real life
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Small penises have feelings too.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
