i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
