You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
