The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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