hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hippo gnu deer
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
