There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
