Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
