Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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