I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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