ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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