Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
