im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
