I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
