mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
