its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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