U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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