I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
