Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
