I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
