I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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