I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
