What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
