god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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