bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Text me some of your sweat
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
