it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
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