Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
