the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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