I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
