I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
