So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
