I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
