I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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