You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
