Yo dont text me then not text me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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