The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
