his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
