I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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