Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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