He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
