I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
