I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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