she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
