I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
